So last night I spontaneously remembered something that I hadn't thought about in a long, long time.
Back when I was in elementary school (early 2000s), I kept having these weirdly detailed fantasies of myself getting injured in some horrible way, and then receiving pity/affection from my peers.
I never ended up doing any self-harm, admittedly because I was too scared.
I'm of course in a much, MUCH better place now, and I feel like discovering the furry fandom helped a lot.